10 Things Every Child With Autism Wishes You Knew

I have Autism. I’m not only “Autistic.” My autism is only one aspect of my character. Does not define meas a person. You are a person with thoughts, feelings and talents. Or you’re just fat, skinny, tall, short, short-sighted. Perhaps these are some things I notice when you meet, but this is not necessarily what you are. As an adult, you have some control of how they self-define. If you want to delete a feature,can be expressed differently. As a child I’m still discovering. Neither you or I may know what I’m capable of. Defining me by one characteristic only, ends up running the risk of keeping expectations that will besmall for me. And if you think I feel that I can not do something, my answer will naturally be: Why try?

Sensory interaction may be the most difficult aspect to understand autism. It means that ordinary sensessuch as hearing, smell, taste, touch, feelings that go unnoticed in their day to day can be painful for me. The environment in which I live can be hostile to me. I can seem distracted or on another planet, but I’m just trying to defend myself. I will explain why a simple trip to the market can be hell for me: my hearing can be very sensitive. Many people may be talking at the same time, music, announcements, sound ofcash registers, phones ringing, children crying, people coughing, fluorescent lights. My brain can not assimilate all this information, causing me a loss of control. My sense of smell can be very sensitive.The fish is sold at the fishmonger’s not cool, the person who is close may not have had a bath today,alongside the baby may have a dirty diaper, the floor may have been cleaned with ammonia. I can not separate the smells and start to feel sick. Because my primary sense is visual. Then the vision can be thefirst sense to be super-excited. The fluorescent light is not only very bright, she flashes and can make a noise. The room seems to pulsate and it hurts my eyes. This pulse of light covers everything and distortswhat I am seeing. The space seems to be constantly changing. I see a glow in the window, there are manythings that I can not concentrate. The fan, people walking from one side to the other … All this affectsmy senses and now I do not know where my body is in space.

Receptive and expressive language and vocabulary can be very difficult for me.
Not that I do not listen to. I just do not understand you. When you call to me fromacross the room, this is what I hear “BBBFFFZZZZSWERSRTDSRDTYFDYT John.” Instead, come speak to me directly with a simple vocabulary: “John, please put your book on the shelf. It’s time for lunch.” This tells me you want me to do and what happens next. So it is easier to understand.

My thought is concrete, I can not make abstractions.I play very little hidden meaning of words. It is very confusing to me when you say “Does not Suck,” when what you mean is “do not bother me.” Do not say “this is a breeze, it is piece of cake” when there is no a piece of cake around and what you mean is that this is something easy to do. Slang, jokes, double intentions,paraphrases, indirect, I do not understand sarcasm.

Say what I need is very difficult for me when I do not know the words to describewhat I feel. I may be hungry, frustrated, frightened and confused, but now those words are beyond my ability, than I can express. So pay attention to the language ofmy body (retraction, agitation or other signs that something is wrong). On other hand, can seem like a little professor or a movie star saying the above words of my ability at my age. Indeed, they are words I memorized from the world around me to compensate for my deficiency in language. Because I know exactly what is expected of me as an answer when someone talks to me. Difficult words that I speak from time to time may come from books, TV, or even being words of others. This is calledecholalia. I do not need to understand the context of the words I am using. I justknow I should say something.

6)I am very visually oriented because the language is very difficult for me.

Please show me how to do something rather than just telling me. And please, be prepared to show me many times. Consistent repetitions help me learn. A visual schedule helps me during the day to day. Relieve me from the stress of having to remember what will happen. Help me to have an easier transition from one activity to another. Help me to control the weather, my activities and meet their expectations. I will not lose the need for a visual schedule to be growing. But my level ofrepresentation may change. Before I can read, I need a visual schedule with photographs or simple drawings. With my growth, a combination of words and picturesmay help later to know the words.

7)Please pay attention and tell me what I can do instead of just saying whatI can’t do.

Like any other human can not learn in an environment where I always feeluseless, that there is something wrong with me and I need to “REPAIR”. To try to do something new when I know I’ll be criticized? Constructively or not is something Iavoid. Look for my potential and you will find many! I will have more than one way todo things.

8)Please help me with social interactions.

It may appear that do not want to play with other children in the park, but sometimesjust do not know how to start a conversation or join in the fun. If you can encourage other children to invite me to play football or play with cars, maybe I’m delightedto be included. I am better in games that have structured activities beginning-middle-end. I do not know how to “READ” facial expression, body language and emotions of others. Thank you if you teach me how should I respond socially. Example: If Ilaugh when Sandra falls of the slide is not that I find funny. I just do not know how to act socially. Teach me to say: “are you okay?”.

9)Try to find what causes the loss of my control.

Loss of control, “tantrum”, tantrums, bad creation, scandal, how you want to call, they are more horrid for me than for you. They occur because one or more of my senseswas stimulated to the extreme. If you can find out what causes my loss of control, this can be prevented – or even avoided. Keep a log of hours, places, people and activities. You can find a sequence seem daunting at first, but surely will get. Try to remember that all behavior is a form of communication. This will tell you what my words can not say how I feel my environment and what is happening inside.

10)If you are a member of the family love me without condition.

Banish thoughts like, “If only he could …” or “Why can not he …” You could notmeet all the expectations that their parents had for you and you would not want toalways be reminded of it. I did not choose to be autistic. But remember that this is happening to me, not you. Without your help my chances of achieving a dignifiedadulthood will be small. With your support and guidance, the possibility is greaterthan you think.

It helps to see my autism as a different ability rather than a disability. Look over what you think is a limitation to this and see that autism has given me. Perhaps it is true that I am not good at eye contact-to-eye and conversations, but you noticed that I am not lying, stealing games, gossip with classmates or other people think? It is true that I will not be a Cristiano Ronaldo “Phenomenon” of football. But with myability to pay attention and focus on what interests me, I can be the next Einstein,Mozart or Van Gogh (they also had autism), a possible answer to Alzheimer’s, the enigma of extraterrestrial life, etc.. – What the future has in store for autistic children like me, is in their future. All I can is not going to happen without youbeing my base. Think about these social ‘rules’ and if they do not make sense to me,set aside. Be my protector is my friend and we’ll see how far I can go.