Good parenting has almost nothing to do with how much time you’ve spent painting backdrops for the school play or how many instruments your child plays or how much breast milk your kid sucked down.
Robert Epstein Ph.D., a Harvard-trained psychologist and founder of the Cambridge Center for Behavioral Studies identified 10 areas of parenting competencies or skills that either routinely predicted child outcomes (health, happiness, success) or at least got a lot of attention:
1. Love and affection.
You support and accept the child, are physically affectionate, and spend quality one-on-one time together.
2. Stress management.
You take steps to reduce stress for yourself and your child, practice relaxations techniques and promote positive interpretations of events.
3. Relationship skills.
You maintain a healthy relationship with your spouse, significant other or co-parent and model effective relationship skills with other people.
4. Autonomy and independence.
You treat your child with respect and encourage him or her to become self-sufficient and self-reliant.
5. Education and learning.
You promote and model learning and provide educational opportunities for your child.
6. Life skills.
You provide for your child, have a steady income and plan for the future.
7. Behavior Management.
You make extensive use of positive reinforcement and punish only after other methods of managing behavior have failed.
8. Health.
You model a healthy lifestyle and good habits, such as regular exercise and proper nutrition, for your child.
9. Religion.
You support spiritual or religious development and participate in spiritual or religious activities.
10. Safety.
You take precautions to protect your child and maintain awareness of the child’s activities and friends.“
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