Psychologist Joseph P. Allen says almost all parents and teenagers argue. But it’s the quality of the arguments that makes all the difference. “We tell parents to think of those arguments not as nuisance but as a critical training ground,” he says. Such arguments, he says, are actually mini life lessons in how to disagree — a necessary skill later on in life with partners,…
Why A Teen Who Talks Back May Have A Bright Future
When Parents Disagree About Their Adolescent
The problem of parental disagreement starts from the child’s birth when diverging ideas about child rearing unexpectedly arise. As father, one parent will be influenced by his own male training growing up and this may bias his perception and approach to a son and daughter. So maybe he believes competing hard and performing well is what matters most. As mother, the other parent will be…
Making the Grade for life
Now that children are back in the classroom, are they really learning the lessons that will help them succeed? Many child development experts worry that the answer may be no. They say the ever-growing emphasis on academic performance and test scores means many children aren’t developing life skills like self-control, motivation, focus and resilience, which are far better predictors of long-term success than high grades.…
Ten Practices of Effective Discipline with Your Adolescent
The ultimate goal of parental discipline is to help adolescents develop sufficient self-discipline to manage themselves and their lives independently and well. 1. Clear rules are consistently supported. The teenager knows where parents stand because they keep standing in the same place. 2. Patient insistence is relentlessly applied. The teenager knows that if it’s important enough for parents to ask for, it’s important enough to…
Message Blockers: Why Your Children Don’t Get Your Messages
Have you noticed that sometimes your children just need to hear a message once and they get it? And, frustratingly, you can send a message dozens upon dozens of times and it is as if they had never sent the message at all? Every time you send a message to your children, it will likely have to navigate its way through a maze of “message blockers”…